im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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