I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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