I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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