I just saw a hot homeless man
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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