you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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