wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize