Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm both gender and math confused
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize