I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The ass gains better be worth it
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