What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize