The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize