so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize