i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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