The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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