bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize