please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
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well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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