My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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