I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
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He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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