just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize