Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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