Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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