she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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