Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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