I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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