She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize