dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize