there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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