She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize