fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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