the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize