Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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