Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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