Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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