I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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