My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
there is glitter all over my balls
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