We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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