Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
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I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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