I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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