I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
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I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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