community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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