Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I pour the whiskey from now on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize