I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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