Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize