I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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