just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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