Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize