you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize