I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize