I wish I could teleport
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize