I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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