he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize