Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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